"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?