She is in my trunk
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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