Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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