Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions

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  (318): This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions http://tfl.nu/jkxb
  Replies (27) Good night (905) Bad night (4191)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.

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  (303): So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper. http://tfl.nu/p0yj
  Replies (34) Good night (996) Bad night (5856)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.

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  (660): We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend. http://tfl.nu/9y0s
  Replies (31) Good night (6222) Bad night (841)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

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  (615): i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card. http://tfl.nu/6ciy
  Replies (40) Good night (9844) Bad night (1289)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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  (517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32
  Replies (62) Good night (993) Bad night (4327)
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  (661): View more from California

  No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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  (661): No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/5zs6
  Replies (44) Good night (4592) Bad night (1110)
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  (916): View more from California

  i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

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  (916): i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget http://tfl.nu/82uy
  Replies (7) Good night (4125) Bad night (1128)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.

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  (404): Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party. http://tfl.nu/y163
  Replies (17) Good night (4724) Bad night (1188)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

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  (807): I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth http://tfl.nu/b4j6
  Replies (18) Good night (7315) Bad night (1377)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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  (540): i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall http://tfl.nu/ora9
  Replies (6) Good night (3987) Bad night (1115)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.

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  (330): I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce.. (1-330): that's the most romantic thing you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/mwxm
  Replies (12) Good night (1889) Bad night (744)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."

  (301): View more from Maryland

  That wasn't a compliment.

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  (202): She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal." (301): That wasn't a compliment. http://tfl.nu/gg7a
  Replies (14) Good night (790) Bad night (2328)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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  (732): I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/lb71
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (432)
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  (324): View more from

  Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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  (324): Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/wosq
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving

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  (310): she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving http://tfl.nu/bvaw
  Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (462)

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