I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
