yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
