i don't like sucking hair
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
