so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
