my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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