We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
