Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
