that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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