Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
