Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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