WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
