Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize