Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
