I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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