i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize