So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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