U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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