she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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