omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.