best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
