Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
is that a dick in a sweater?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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