sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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