So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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