I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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