Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Enjoy the penises
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
