My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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