they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Barsexuality is the new black.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There are leaves in my underwear?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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