I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
