: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
