his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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