I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
