Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
