stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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