Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
