Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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