he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
