He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
