Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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