So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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