My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
