she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
