his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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