i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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