im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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