If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
