So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
