so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So. Much. Porn.
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