Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
