Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
