I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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