OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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