I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
