just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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