what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You made out with two different species that night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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