Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
