Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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