My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
