One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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