hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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