Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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