Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
