hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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